Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize