About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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