you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
