we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
