I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just forgot I was standing up.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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