like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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