My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
