I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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