I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
