It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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