you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
