Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
