I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
