the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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