I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
