You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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