my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
two words...techno handjob
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
