It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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