We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize