we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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