Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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