i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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