my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think im going to throw up on grandma
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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