literally had 100 drinks last night.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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