Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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