just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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