i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
