Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
