brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
