im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
