what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
