so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
