Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
