Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
