yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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