I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
