Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think my mom watched the whole time
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
