how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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