yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize