Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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