i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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