I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize