i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
