hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
