You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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