She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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