??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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