I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
