Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
