: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
