My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize