Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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