I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
