I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
