Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
