An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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