What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
