Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
