it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
