just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
