have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
