actually, I'm a sock model
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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