Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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