I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
