i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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