I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize