its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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