im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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