I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
