white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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