you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
