if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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