I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
